Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
