Soap is not a condiment
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
