He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
