If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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