im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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