I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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