Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
