I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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