Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
