he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
