There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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