Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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