I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
