Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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