yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
