My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
