only you would photoshop your dick
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
