This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
