I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
