So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
