No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
