keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
