There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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