i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
