do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
