I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
