Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
