I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
