I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
