Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
