I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The Olympian is in my bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
