Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
