we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's like heaven, but drunker
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
