Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
where am i from again
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
