I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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