I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
