Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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