Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
