i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
