In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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