Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
