Do you still have your period?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
