in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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