capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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