I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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