Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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