She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i came on her dog
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
