What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
