you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
