How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
